BigTime

Maybe this girl doesn’t like me, so im umm gonna just forget about it maybe idk im so confused :3 im sick of trying to anticipate peoples minds and how they think and shit. Why not just put a sign saying how you feel right now pr about a specific person, make the world hell of alot easier.

I seriously just want to cry and breakdown. But I can’t do that, because I would be judge for that too. Just like everyone judges me for everything I do or say. I guess that is why I get taken advantage of and used and then dropped on the wayside of the road. This explains why no one likes me, and just hates me.

“So in the end it doesn’t even matter anymore”- Linkin Park

Guys I just want to apologize for everything I have done or said, I never met to hurt anyone but myself. To my best friend I’m sorry for everything, I wish we didnt argue so much right now and I wish I didn’t hurt you in the ways I have, because now I feel so hurt and distraught and disgusted with myself. I’m sorry for it all. This the only way I can apologize to everyone and you. I hope you understand, that I am not a good person I have a lot of problems and I am scared that I might hurt you. I just hope you can forgive me.

I get it in a really annoying kid. I understand I’m stupid and really fucked up. I also get that I am really dumb and really really ugly. I wish i was a better person but im not. I just wish people would not just talk to me and stop for no reason, or idk I’m just in a bad fucking mood and angry and pissed off just like this storm that i am watching right now as I sit at the lake. Watching the massive lightning strikes is amazing. It compels my anger in a peculiar manner. It makes me wanna slice my legs up to no end and watch as my bloods pours out of me into the lake as the storm goes on, just like the fury and rage building in me. Why must society be so fucked up, to were a kid wants to harm him self soo bad. Why must people be born with sk many imperfections society has to pick on him and make fun of him and so on.

Shit I think its time I go back down to the park for soccer agian and just to think about it all, idk why but I just feel fucked up now

Its when I start to feel ignored and alone that I want slice my skin. Then it brings me to reality agian.

what fi i told you that the thunderstorm going on right now outside is whats going on in my head. Like im so fucked up its not even funny. so now it seems like everyone is leaving me…….

This girl is driving me insane. I wanna know more about her yet we have hardly talked much, only a little so far uggghh. What am I going to do if she doesn’t like me at all….